Kevin A. Milne

Essay Winners!

2012-01-13T15:51:00.000-08:00

210 essays about The Paper Bag Christmas, and I read every one of them! And now...my eyes need a rest.

But before I step away from the computer, I'd like to thank all of the Student at A.E. Wright middle school for their wonderful insights. You're all amazing, and I'm thrilled that you are finding ways to look beyond yourselves and seek out people to serve and befriend. That's what it's all about!

To say thanks to everyone for their hard work, I've picked out a few students who said something in their essays that touched me in one way or another - either taught me something new, inspired me, or made me chuckle. Those students are (in no particular order).....[drum roll, please].....

- Ellie; Kimball's 4th period class
- Kaylee G., Miller's 5th period class
- Noah W., Miller's 4th period class
- Alissa, Kimball's 3rd period class
- Samantha (Sam), Miller's 4th period class
- Gabriella, Kimball's 2nd period class

I'll be sending signed copies of Sweet Misfortune to each of the above students.

Thanks!!

A.E. Wright Middle School

2011-12-05T08:38:00.001-08:00

A.E. Wright Middle School is again reading The Paper Bag Christmas, and I'm thrilled beyond belief. I love hearing from the students each year!

To help make sure all of their essays are original, I have taken the liberty of deleting last year's comments from my Blog (sorry guys). But as with last year, I will be selecting 3 essays that really catch my attention or touch me in some way, and those three students will all receive signed copies of one of my other books.

Looking forward to the A.E. Wright essays! Please post them as comments to this blog. Oh, and be sure to include at least your first name, teacher's name, and what class period you are in!

Winners!!

2011-01-24T16:30:00.000-08:00

First, let me say that ALL of the seventh graders who posted letters about The Paper Bag Christmas are "winners" in my mind. Truly, the things you wrote were inspiring, articulate, and insightful. Unfortunately, I can't send everyone a free book (I know...bummer). My plan was to send three signed copies to whoever wrote the 'best' letters, but with 149 fantastic postings, it was just too hard to choose! So instead, I selected the passages of text that really touched me in some way. The authors of those passages will each receive a book. So here it is....drum roll please. The winners (and their words that impressed me) are as follows:

1. Kate – “In a way we all are wearing a paper bag just like Katrina. We all try to hide things, and feel insecure sometimes and we try to get away from everyone else one way or another. We all need friends and friends to be there for you when times are tough and to stand by your side to tell you that it is okay. People are not what you think at first look, but when you look just a little deeper you might just be surprised.”

2. Theo – “I am Jewish. I've never celebrated Christmas before. I've never had a Christmas tree before. You showed me what Christmas really means. You don't have to celebrate Christmas to take in what it really means. What you wrote in The Paper Back Christmas taught people that you don't need an iphone, a macbook, or an Air Jammer Road Rammer to be happy. All you need to do to be happy, is give others that gift of joy and you will receive happiness from others.”

3. Kenna – “Ever since I read your book, I have watched the way people treat other people, even strangers. I learned that just giving a friendly smile or compliment can make someone's day. I have made it my mission to try to be more gracious to people by doing these things. I think the importance of your book is to try to teach children that beauty is on the inside, and to always believe in yourself.”

Thanks to everyone for your letters!

Mystery Book...

2010-12-01T10:51:00.000-08:00

I love getting emails from readers, and sometimes they are just too good to keep to myself. I received this one today from someone who mysteriously stumbled upon The Paper Bag Christmas...

Hi Mr. Milne!

My name is [name withheld], and I live in a small town in the hill country in Texas. Last night God gave me your book, The Paper Bag Christmas. Okay, well, maybe not God... but someone did. I live with two other people and it belonged to none of us, we'd never seen it before, but there it was, just sitting on our bookshelf. I am a firm believer in the magic and love of Christmas-time, so I decided to read it. I finished it all in one sitting, and don't know that I've ever cried so hard in a book.

My nephew passed away from cancer in a children's hospital 5 years ago, and it was by far the hardest thing to endure to date. I was incredibly moved by the story and how much love was shown on every single page. I'm a big time crier, so there was no chance of a dry eye of course, but in a good way!

I currently work with at-risk kids as a counselor, having only gotten my Bachelor's in Psychology a year and a half ago. I am not sure why this book appeared on my bookshelf for me to read, but I thank you for writing it, and inspiring me to try my hardest to love everyone and reach out to everyone I can, including the children I work with. I can't wait to go to church this week and thank God for putting it on my shelf, too. I try not to think about my nephew too much, but this book made me, and made me feel some sort of peace. I didn't know what to do so I decided to write you this e-mail in hopes of a response and your take on this strange Christmas story!

Sweet Foreign Cover

2010-09-11T08:57:00.000-07:00

Just got this from the publisher in Korea...the cover of Sweet Misfortune. It definitely has an Asian flair, but I love it!

Am Northwest Interview

2010-07-28T17:32:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to post a link to the interview I did on AM Northwest (Channel 2, OR). It was a blast! Thanks to Helen and her book club for a great time!!

http://www.katu.com/amnw/segments/98335409.html

Eclipsing Eclipse

2010-07-02T08:53:00.000-07:00

This picture is for my own teenage daughters. Hopefully, seeing their dad's name anywhere near the newest Twilight movie will bolster my 'coolness' in their eyes. :-)

Happiness Letter

2010-07-02T08:32:00.000-07:00

I received this today from Paola C., who just finished reading Sweet Misfortune....

Happiness is holding a sleeping baby and watching his/her angelic face in their repose.

Happiness is reading a book, hearing a song/music, or watching a movie that touches your soul.

Happiness is hearing children's laughter.

Happiness is hugging the one you love.

Happiness is feeling grateful for everyone in your life.

Happiness is knowing you are never alone - God and God's helpers are always there.

Happiness is spending time with children and listening to them - they are so wise - if only, we spent more time speaking to them. They are worth these moments and you get so much in return.

Happiness is being of service to someone. There is no greater joy than doing something for someone else that is not connected to ego.

Happiness is being grateful for the senses and experiences that you have - good and bad help you grow.

Happiness is telling and showing people that you love them. Tell people you love that you love them but don't forget to show them too!

Happiness is spending time with my precious niece and nephew. As they grow older, happiness is receiving unexpected hugs and "I love yous" for no reason at all.

Happiness is love.

Happiness is laughing at something silly.

Happiness is nature - she is there everyday to share her bounty - sometimes we are too busy to notice her.

Happiness is the ability to choose and appreciate your freedoms.

Angie's Story

2010-07-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Kevin,

Managing a bookstore has its perks. One of my favorites is receiving advance reading copies of books from publishers. Being an avid, aka, addicted reader with an unsatiable love of fortune cookies led me to believe I had a winner when I saw the cover of your book. I curled up in my bed one night with three advance copy books from three different authors.

First book, two chapters in, tossed it aside. Second book, had potential, but didn't have me coming back for more after four chapters. As I stared at the cover of book three......your book, and read the fortune--"Some people are lucky in love. You aren't one of them," I groaned, "Well this one is obviously written for me. "

I just finished the final page (and yes, I even read your Haiku) and am now compelled to give you my version of "happiness that doesn't fleet."

My father was killed in Vietnam when I was 10 yrs. old. My mother died from ALS when I was thirty-five. My two children were born with an incurable disease called epidermolysis bullosa. After 20 years of marriage and one month from my 50th birthday, my husband unceremoniously dumped me for a prostitute in Thailand. Some happiness can be very "fleeting." As I lay on my dining room floor in the fetal position sobbing, I realized that the only true happiness is that which comes in the form of comfort and peace from our divine God who is the only one who knows how all the pieces will fit back together again. It is the happiness which I hold strong to today even though the puzzle of my life has not yet fallen back into place enough to see a clear picture. But I wake up every morning and go to bed every night with a happiness which cannot be quenched because I am held in the palm of the One who knows it all and tells me ---"Angie, you win in the end."

Blessings to you on your new publication. You have a winner on your hands! I can't wait to tell everyone who comes into our store!

Angie C.

Reader's Definition of Happiness

2010-06-13T10:15:00.000-07:00

This morning my family made me breakfast in bed for my birthday. While I was eating, I checked my email on my cell phone, and started crying when I read the story below. Many thanks to the reader who shared...

"I just read your book, 'Sweet Misfortune', cover to cover tonight. I am tempted to say that Happiness is having the time and leisure to sit and read a good book cover to cover. This couldn't be more true to me because I am the parent whose only leisure time is the middle of the night hours when I should be sleeping. However, as trite as this sounds, my Happiness is the sound of a baby screaming from the nursery down the hall. But not just because of motherly lovey Happiness. When I was 14 weeks pregnant with twins my water ruptured on Twin B. I was told to end the pregnancy as I would be losing both babies due to the trauma. I couldn't end the pregnancy and the doctors sent me home to miscarry. I didn't. But I did spend the ensuing 20 weeks being told by highly regarded maternal-fetal specialists that even though I didn't miscarry I would be lucky if we were able to get to an acceptable term to possibly deliver Baby A safely. Baby B was given 0% chance of survival due to the lack of fluid from the rupture. The baby would not develop lungs or other vital organs. I was told I would experience the happiest day of my life delivering one baby coinciding with the worst day of my life with one baby dying. Week after week we were being prepared for the worst. 6 weeks before my due date, on Aug 23,2009 at 8:59p Twin A, my son Henry, was born. He was tiny, only 3 lb 7 oz. My husband and I were elated to meet him. He let out a big roar to let us know he was there and he was quickly rushed away to the NICU. At 9:01p Baby B, my daughter Mary Alice, was born. She was 1 lb 10oz. The exact definition of Happiness to my husband and I is the cry that came from that tiny baby. That precise moment is the Happiest moment of my life. For a baby that wasn't supposed to develop lungs she sure had something to prove. 3 months of NICU care and she was finally released home to join her brother and mom & dad. That was the 2nd Happiest moment of my life.

I think I am one of the luckiest people in the world to have gone through what we did...I am a better mother for it. I think I may be one of the only women I know who still marvels at the screaming coming from their baby after almost a year of hearing it. To me, its reliving the Happiest sound I've ever heard.
We aren't religious people but we have experienced a medical miracle. There is no explanation for her survival. To that point, after all the tests were done and facts gathered, my son, my daughter, and I should not have survived this pregnancy at all. The condition, Cornual Ectopic Pregnancy, usually ends with catastrophic results to the mother and child. A surviving Cornual Ectopic is so rare that we are being written about. We are blessed. And I more so for being able to relive my Happiness every day :)

Thank you for such a wonderful novel. It has inspired me to make it a point to be Happy in the middle of my unbelievably long harried days.

Respectfully,
[Name Withheld]"

Sweet Winners

2010-06-10T06:04:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all for entering the giveaway. There were 84 total entries (including one deleted comment). This morning I used a random number generator at Random.org, which selected the following entries, in order, as the five winners:

#72: jenfurru said...My all time favorite chocolate is Esther Price chocolates, based in Cincinnati, Ohio. I grew up in Cincy and have fond memories of her chocolate candy.
#82: George said...My favorite sweet treat.... definitely fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, still soft and warm with melty, runny chocolate. Yum!
#57: Cheryl Oliver said...Nothing but nothing beats a large chocolate MALT!!!! especially on a hot day. That's probably why I need to lose some weight!!!
#24: Susanne said...I believe my favorite treat is one that I stay away from... Mississippi Mud... you take a brownie recipe, layer marshmellow creme and then add a thick fudge frosting. A 1x1 square is to die for! I also am so addicted to marshmellow peeps, and enjoy them stale...But, I too must stay away from so much intense sugar... Love your books and am looking forward to a great summer read..
#51: Abigail said...I love South African pancakes ... rolled up with cinnamon and sugar. They taste even better when my husband makes them.

If one of these comments is yours, you win! Contact me asap via email (kevin@kevinamilne.com or kevmilne@gmail.com) and I'll get your book in the mail.

If you didn't win...you can blame the random number generator. :-) But be sure to look for Sweet Misfortune on the shelf at your nearest book store, starting today!

Sweet Contest

2010-06-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

Today several boxes of my newest book, Sweet Misfortune, showed up at my house. While I appreciate my publisher's generosity, I honestly don't know what to do with them all. The only thing I can think of is...give them away!

So here's the deal: the main character in this book, Sophie Jones, has a bit of a sweet tooth. To be entered to win a signed copy, post a comment to this blog in which you identify your favorite candy or other sweet treat. It's that easy. Five people will be selected at random. The contest closes at midnight on June 9th, just before the book is officially available in stores on June 10th. Check back on the 10th to see if you've won.

For the record, my new favorite 'sweet' is Chocolate Soup. My wife just discovered the recipe, and it's to die for.

Good luck!

Oh, and after you've entered the contest, feel free to check out Sophie Jones's blog.

And another good review!

2010-04-10T16:36:00.000-07:00

Five Stars from A. Boston, an Amazon top 500 reviewer:
When I first got this book, I hadn't realized until it was in my hands that it was written by a man. I was interested to see how he would write a novel with a female main character. Usually, I can tell from the first couple of pages that it wouldn't be as mutifaceted, but more of a cliched version of what men think a woman should be. (I'm generalizing, I know. I became sexist for about 10 seconds. But I realize there are men authors writing for a mainly female audience out there who can write women wonderfully).

Thankfully, this book proved me entirely wrong. It was an excellent read, from start to finish. I actually read it in a couple of hours, which I've never done before. It was funny and heart wrenching with well written, consistent characters. "Sweet Misfortunes" takes you on a insightful journey with Sophie, the central character. You wonder with a woman who's experienced such misfortune in her life, will she ever figure out how to achieve her own personal happiness? This book could have been depressing, but instead it had a certain lift to it, whimsical yet thoughtful at the same time.

It had many lessons in it, but the one that sticks out to me, is that carrying around a silent, sometimes misguided guilt can be crippling. Letting it out and sharing it with others, as hard as it may be, can set you free.

A must read, whole heartedly recommended, no matter what genre of book you may typically go for. It had mystery, romance, life lessons and humor. One of the best books I've read in a very long time.

SWEET MISFORTUNE already getting good reviews!

2010-04-10T16:34:00.000-07:00

Amazon's Vine Reviewers have had some good things to say about SWEET MISFORTUNE, which comes out June 10th. Here's a sample....

5 Stars from Dianne Tetro (booksandchat.net): Misconceptions. I think that sums up exactly what this book is about. Misconceptions and the power of divine providence and, oh yes...love. On Sophia Jones ninth birthday, she looses her family in a very tragic car accident. But little did we know that 20 years later the consequences of that accident on that very stormy night would still be affecting so many people. Sophia has grown up with a foster mother and a foster sister, and even made her way in life as a chocolatier with her own shop, but she is still lacking something. Until her mother fixes her up on a blind date, Sophia has gone about her life alone, although that's not always a bad thing and it is important that through divine providence Sophia and Garret Black meet...and fall in love. And break up!

This story shows how a persons understanding of an incident can be, if not exactly selfish, but skewed to the point that it can change ones life. This book proves that there are always three sides to every story -your side, how everyone else saw it and the truth. And this book prove that there are three truths.

I loved this book. This may be a short and rather quick read, but it is not one that you don't want to savor just like the fine chocolates that Sophia makes. I think that this book is a keeper and one that you may want to read more than one time. This novel allowed me to have a lot of laughter, tears, curiosity, frustration and joy. If it wasn't for the wonderful characters and compelling story I may have finally given in to my curiosity to read the ending first to see what it was that Garret needed a whole `date' to explain to Sophia why he had broken their engagement. While some may try to stick this into the chick lit genre, that would be cruel and inhumane treatment of Mr. Milne's most excellent and heartfelt novel.

Sweetest Wife Ever

2010-02-17T14:42:00.000-08:00

It's true: I have the sweetest wife in the world. In honor of my next book, Sweet Misfortune, she got me a huge, chocolate-dipped fortune cookie for Valentines Day. It weighed several pounds and took the whole family to eat. The custom message inside was just as sweet as the cookie itself. Thanks Rebecca!

Contest Winner Is...

2010-02-09T16:20:00.000-08:00

"Bev F." Congratulations Bev! I used a random number generator, which selected you (the 40th entry among 47 total) as the book winner!. Please shoot me an email with your mailing address, and Jason will get an ARC of The Cross Gardener out to you shortly.

To everyone else: thanks for participating!

Jason Wright Book Contest!

2010-02-04T09:04:00.000-08:00

Can it really be true? Kevin Milne is hosting a giveaway for a book by Jason Wright? The Jason Wright? As in, the New York Times best selling author? The one who wrote Wednesday Letters, Recovering Charles, and who is literally changing lives with his Christmas novella, Christmas Jars. Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes! It's all true.

Jason is a heckuva guy, and has kindly agreed to send one of you a signed ARC (advance reader copy) of his newest book, The Cross Gardener, which hits bookstores on March 2, 2010. I had the pleasure of reading a .pdf copy of this book a number of months ago, and I promise it wont disappoint. It will tug at your heartstrings and cause you to reflect on what it means to live. Glenn Beck has read The Cross Gardener too, and describes it as "Passionate, spiritual and thought-provoking."

So how can you win this fantastic book? Easy! Just reply to this blog and let me know that you'd like to be entered in the contest. If you have a favorite Jason Wright book and want to others know about it, feel free to share that in your comments too.The winner will be selected at random on February 9th. I'll post the winner's name here on the blog, so be sure to check back.

Good Luck!

A.E. Wright Middle School

2009-12-31T12:13:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to take a moment to thank the 7th Grade Language Arts teachers at A.E. Wright Middle School, in Calabasas, California, for choosing The Paper Bag Christmas as their December reading project. It's been wonderful to get so much positive feedback about the book, both from the teachers and the students. I'm told that their final assignment, following vacation, may include a note to me. How nice! Maybe some of them will even want to post their letters here....(hint, hint)...

Go Spartans!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!

Winners, Winners, and more Winners

2009-11-26T20:43:00.001-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! I just waddled in the door after a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with the whole Milne clan. What a great day! Sure, I'm ten pounds heavier, but I'll worry about that later.

As promised, today is the official end of my book contest. First, let me say THANK YOU to everyone who entered. I didn't expect such a huge response! Believe it or not, there were nearly 500 entries! Yes, I said FIVE HUNDRED!! Most of them were post-card entries, but there were also many great Thanksgiving recipes shared online.

Here are the lucky winners:

Prize # 1 goes to Jackie Wisherd, from La Mesa, California, who submitted a delicious recipe (post-card submission) for Praline Candied Yams. It was delicious! I'll post the full recipe soon so everyone can enjoy it.

Prize #2 goes to Lisa Helms-Guba, from Annapolis, Maryland.

Prize #3 goes to Kristy Kimball, from Calabasas, California.

Thanks to everyone who participated in this contest. For me, it made this a Thanksgiving I will not soon forget.

Christmas Contest...for Thanksgiving

2009-11-09T13:01:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's been far too long since my last book contest. But the drought is over! I am happy to announce the easiest book contest in the entire universe (okay, that may be a stretch...but the criteria for such things is very subjective, so I'm sticking with it). There are 3 separate prizes up for grabs:

Two signed copies of the newly released PAPER BAG CHRISTMAS (with its beautiful new cover!). The perfect Christmas gift for anyone with a heart.
Two signed copies of THE NINE LESSONS. Keep them for yourself, or put them in someone's stocking.
One advance reader copy (ARC) of SWEET MISFORTUNE. You'll be the first person to get a sneak-peek at this upcoming book, which won't be available commercially until June. Wow!

The prizes will go to three different winners. Although you can only win once, you can boost your chances of winning by submitting lots and lots of entries. Here's how:

a) Post a comment to this blog by November 23rd which includes a recipe for your favorite Thanksgiving side-dish or dessert (one recipe submission per person). My wife will pick the one that sounds the yummiest as the winner, and we will prepare that dish to accompany the Milne family Thanksgiving feast.

b) Send a post-card to ME! Any post-card will do, so long as it arrives before Thanksgiving. One entry will be given for every post-card, and there is no limit to the number that you send. The address is 20842 SW LeBeau Rd. Sherwood, OR 97140. I look forward to hearing from you! [Hey teachers: want to bump your odds of winning? Have your students send me a post-card too! If they identify you as their teacher, I'll give you and them each an entry in the contest.]

c) Get your friends and family to join my email list. After they have signed up, send me an email identifying who you strong-armed to join. You'll receive one entry per person that you 'help' sign up. Your friends will also receive a free entry just for joining.

So that's it. Simple, right?

Here's the fine-print:
- Winners will be announced on Thanksgiving day.
- The recipe contest winner will receive the copies of The Paper Bag Christmas (prize #1)
- All other contest entries (including recipe submissions who didn't win prize #1) will be lumped together and drawn at random for prize #2 & #3.
- Milne family members cannot submit recipes for prize #1 (we already know what your cooking is like...and we don't need any more of it :-)
- No international entries will win...but feel free to submit anyway. Your recipes and post-cards will be welcomed.

Sherwood Book Club

2009-11-09T12:02:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to say thanks to the Sherwood Book Club for having me at their monthly meeting this past Thursday to discuss The Nine Lessons. Of all the book clubs I've been to, this one was by far the scariest for me...I think because it was in my home town. Before showing up I had this nagging fear that the local crowd might be a little tougher on 'one of its own'. Thankfully, just the opposite was true! We had a great discussion, lots of terrific questions, and the club members were the nicest people in the world. Silly me for expecting anything less. Hopefully they enjoyed it as much as I did and they'll have me back for Sweet Misfortune next June...

Sweet Misfortune Cover

2009-08-27T15:40:00.000-07:00

To me, one of the best parts about writing books is getting to see what the amazing design folks come up with for cover-art. Usually, when I'm first seeing one of my covers for the first time, I just and stare at it for like 2 hours, familiarizing myself with every square millimeter. So I just finished another two-hour stare session, and I'm happy to report that I love every square millimeter of the Sweet Misfortune cover! The book is not due out until June 2010 (which, by the way, is already a 2 month pull-in from the original planned date), and yet the cover is already set. Gotta love the planning/scheduling that goes into getting a book to market! It really is an amazing process, and the Hachette team seems to have it down to a science.

New Cover

2009-08-25T14:14:00.000-07:00

It's official: Hachette is "repackaging" The Paper Bag Christmas for the '09 Christmas season. I just got to see the final product today. Hope you like it as much as I do!

Amazon Ranking

2009-06-29T13:50:00.000-07:00

Nice to see that The Nine Lessons is still selling...today it ranked #10 in the category "Fiction - Sports".

Yummy Mummy Club

2009-06-18T09:23:00.000-07:00

I'd like to thank Wanda, from Yummy Mummy Club, for a terrific review of The Nine Lessons. Check it out!

Just-in-time-for-Fathers-Day Contest

2009-06-07T14:15:00.001-07:00

Thanks again to everyone who entered my most recent contest, which ended today. Below are a handful of my favorite entries. I wish I could post all of the stories that were sent to me, but there were just too many. PLEASE don't feel bad if you don't see yours here...they were all great!!

WINNER #1:
I grew up with a father who was an Air Force veteran, a grandfather who was a Marine, and a grandfather who was a soldier. Discipline was part of my life at an early age. My father always stressed hard work and discipline, not through words, but rather through work ethic. I watched growing up as my father worked 12 hour days, seven days a week, yet still found time to play catch with his son. He put up lights so we could shoot baskets, or even a simple game of cards...just to spend time with me. It took til years later to realize, that not only did he make time for me, but still managed to work on the house, keep the yard nice, and do the housework and laundry while my mother was at work. What I ultimately learned, was that being a good father and husband wasn't about the "work", but rather the self sacrifice of sleep to keep a contented wife, and the realization that children are only young once. Every event that he missed, he knew he could never get back, so to him...there was no sacrifice. Only Love for his family. I could never repay my father for the lessons of life by example, and I only hope that my respect for others and hard work will pay off as well for me as it did for him. May God bless my parents for the job they have done. Thank you Mr. Milne for the wonderful books. -- Troy P Zehnder

WINNER #2:

The one most important thing I learned from my father is how to truly love a person. Right now my father has to take care of my mother physical and emotionally. My father has lung cancer and has just finished chemo. Now this sounds to horrible to be true. My mother is physically unable to take care of herself and is in a nursing home. She has tried to come home several times but my father is too weak to take care of her demanding needs.

My father has always loved my mother and his five children. He worked a lot when we were kids but he always found a way to take care of each and every one of us. He always did it with a smile and never a complaint. He was never quick to judge but he always was there when we fell or failed. He wants only the best for us.

I became an unwed mother right out of college. I felt that I had disrespected my father and let my family down. But my father taught me to have respect in myself and a plan to pursue my dreams. My son is now 19 and I never let go of anything my father taught me. I expected him to be totally upset with me when I told him the bad news. Mom was the histerical one, dad took it all in stride.

He truly knows the meaning of the word (verb) to love someone. -- Karen Connor

HONORABLE MENTION(s):
One important thing I learned from my father was how to listen without giving advice all the time. My Dad was a good listener. He had time for all 5 of us kids. Growing up I thought I was the most special daughter of his. But one thing I always knew, was he loved me. He always had time for me. I could sit on the porch for hours talking to my father. He did not make my decisions for me. He knew how to offer advice while letting me make my own decisions. He supported me when I moved out on my own. He suggested it because he said as long as I lived at home, I'd never get married. I would spend all my time taking care of him. I was out 3 months and married and going on 30 years so he knew what he was talking about. I miss him so much now as I face a procedure and wish I could just sit and discuss it with him. He went through enough in his lifetime, he could tell me what to expect. -- Jane Squires

I grew up with a "unique collection" of dad's. I look back on my childhood with some fond memories of what it takes to be a dad and how each person plays an important part of our lives.
My original dad was there in my youth and loved to hunt and fish. I believe I learned patience by our times fishing. I think my chatter was not a part of his ideal fishing scenario, but he listened to me just the same. I don't remember catching fish, but liked being a part of dad's life.

My next dad was one who brought creativity and music into my life. We traveled and I was able to take accordian lessons for five years. ( I know you all are groaning as you read this, but I grew up watching Lawerence Welk every Saturday night) He was also a man who worked hard.

The third time seemed to be the charm for our family. My dad was a man who had never had children of his own and took on 15,13 and a 5 year old girls. I think the greatest gift he gave us was his integrity and when he said something he meant it. I look back and maybe did not always agree with his decision, but I knew he was always true to his word. He brought our family together in a way we thought impossible and we knew he loved our mother with all of his heart.

I look back on my life with the great things these men shared in my life with great fondness and affection, and grateful to each of them for their part in my life. It is good to look back on the way I thought about my family as different, and now see it through my adult eyes and cut them all some slack and allow them "mulligans". Just as I hope my children can do the same for me. -- Susan Ann Walters

My dad was born in the US but as a toddler he and his older brother were sent back to Japan to be raised in the old ways by his grandparents. He returned to the States as a teenager, not speaking any English. He graduated from a high school in California and got a job in a produce store. After the bombing of Pearl Harbor in 1941, life as they knew it changed forever. My dad and his family's possessions were sold for a pittance of what they were worth and then they were interned in Arkansas. While there he was drafted into the army and worked in Military Intelligence even while his family were living behind barbed wired fences. My father passed away many years ago, but he was proud to be a Japaneses American and he taught us that if you work hard, you can achieve the American Dream. The American Dream was getting a college education, having a job, owning a home and raising a family. -- Diane Paetsch

My father was a plumber/pipe fitter and worked many hours to support our family. He is the father of nine children (three boys & six girls). You thought your family was large! We lived in the country in a small log cabin surrounded by redwoods with a creek as our backyard -- no joke. My mother stayed home to hold down the fort. To top it off, my mother did not drive.

One important thing I learned from my father growing up is giving back to the community and those in need. My father was constantly volunteering to help others (repairing fences and broken appliances, etc), while our dishwasher sat broken. It was not necessary to fix ours since we had many hands to accomplish that task!! We would accompany him on many of these adventures.

Occasionally on Thanksgiving, my dad would drive into town and pick up a lonesome soul and bring them back for dinner. My dad swears he brought Carlos Santana to our house in the 60's. Our home was often a refuge for homeless animals and a few stay individuals. Hey, what was one more mouth to feed anyway?

As a retiree, my father bakes homemade sourdough bread and delivers it to people. He even feeds the dough daily. He volunteers to cook at a local soup kitchen, the Elks Lodge and at various church functions. He never asks for payment for his services only money to cover the cost of the food. My dad's passion is fishing. He purchased a boat a number of years ago and goes fishing, crabbing, etc. whenever he can. He will often give part of his catch away to friends. He is very generous with his blessings.

My father taught his children to help others by showing us how to volunteer with a cheerful heart. He has been a constant example to his children of giving back. There is always someone less fortunate than yourself -- you just have to open your eyes and look!! -- Therese C. Wunderlich

My father taught me to be a giver. Not only would he remind us that it is more blessed to give than to receive he demonstrated it in his actions. I remember him always saying you can not outgive God. In a world of such selfishness I am thankful for this lesson my dad taught me. -- Scott & Beth Davey

Hi Kevin

I would like to share my story with you and your family. My Mom and Dad got a divorce when I was just starting my teenage years. Even though I was still in school, I had to get a job to help my Mother make ends meet. My older sister had already gotten married, but there was myself, two other sisters, and a brother. Because my Dad did not pay any child support. I have no good memories of my Dad at this time in my life.

I did not start dating until I was eighteen. When I started looking for husband I new that I did not want a man that was like my Dad was. I wanted a husband that was going to be a man that was loyal to his family. I wanted a man that would take time to be with his wife and children. A man that would help all of us in trying to make the rightt choices in life and be there to help guide when we mad the wrong ones.

I believe I found that person 34 years ago and I do thank my Dad for that. Because if I had not had the experince of going thru what I did when I was growing up I may not have made the right choice for the man I choose to marry. Exspecially thinking back now on all the guy that wanted to date me back then and knowing how their lives are now. I also want to Thank God for giving me the knowledge and insight to have chosen the man I am married to.

We have been married for 34 years (6-5-1975) and we are still loving and growing together with every day. I just wish that my Mother could have had the chance to grow old with some.

Thanks for this opportunity to tell my story or part of it anyway. -- Sheila Lytle

My Dad has taught me many things overtime in his 84yrs of wisdom and advice. Even thou his health is failing in recent months for his
mind is as sharp as a tack and still give me guidance everyday for let it be just a few sentences or showing me how to fix things around the
house of taking shortcuts to a long drawing situation. See, my Dad is a pratical person who believes in the bible, hard work, confidence, loyalty, caring toward his family and friends thru-out his life and learning all the traits that he offer has build me in the same mold and
very proud to call him, DAD. I know that the good Lord will be a calling for him that I will always cherish and behold all the memories that we shared together thru good times and bad that knowing he is always there in my heart. Love you Dad :)) your son, Gary

One important thing I learned from father.....hmmmm?? Let me see.....I have learned many things from my father in my 28 years on this wonderful earth but the most important thing I have learned is love. Through his unending love for my mother(and me!) I have learned what true love means. They have had their ups and downs sure but he is always there for her no matter what. He loves her unconditionally. He was in the military for 25 years and was gone more often than he was home but he loved her (and she loved him!) unconditionally through it all! I was married for awhile to a man who started out like my father but in the end chose a path that didn't involve me or his child with him. This broke my heart but if not for my father (and mother!) allowing me to move back home I don't think my kids and I would be here today. I now know that if I were to remarry again I would marry someone like my daddy and I would not settle for less and if I couldn't find unconditional love from a man (like my mom has from my dad!) then I will be content to live a life as single mom with the wonderful help of my father and mother. I know that this entry more than likely will not be a winner as it isn't something truly amazing but to me love is the most important thing you can learn from someone and IF this were to be a winning entry I would love to share you book with the most important teacher in my life: my father. So, Mr. Milne, I am entering this contest not expecting to win but to share with you my most important lesson from my father: LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL. -- Molly Edwards

Barnes & Noble Book Signing

2009-05-25T21:18:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who showed up on Thursday night at the Clackamas Town Center Barnes & Noble for the book signing. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. But I had to laugh at the life-size head shot of me hanging from the balcony! Hope you all enjoyed yourself as much as I did.

Barrack & Kevin: Together at last

2009-05-19T12:55:00.000-07:00

I got a call from my wife this morning informing me that there was an ad in the Oregonian newspaper for The Nine Lessons (I'm speaking at Barnes & Noble this week). Seventy-five cents later, when I finally got my hands on a copy of the paper, I found that I shared page 5 with none other than Barrack Hussein Obama, "leader" of the "free" world. Good stuff. I'm sure I'll never see my face in print again anywhere near his.

Note to The President: Give me a call...I've got a signed copy of the book waiting for you!

Me and Elisabeth Hasselbeck

2009-05-11T14:20:00.000-07:00

I think maybe there's something going on with me and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Okay, not between her and I, per se, but there seems to be an attraction between our books. :-) First, I went to our local bookstore this past week and found my new book right next to hers on the new release shelf! [see picture in previous blog post] Now today, I was checking out my publisher's homepage, and both books were on the "Most Viewed Books" list, just one spot separating them.

Merely coincidence? Or is this fate telling me that I should go on a G-free diet before Elisabeth invites me for an interview on The View?

Hmm. Only time will tell. :-)

Note to Elisabeth: Good luck with your book.
Note to producers of The View: Sure, I'd love to come on your show and discuss the literary similarities between dieting and reading my novels. (what???)

Book Released TODAY!

2009-05-06T12:56:00.000-07:00

Pictures I took today at Borders of The Nine Lessons on the shelf....plus a snapshot of the Romantic Times review.

The Nine Lessons: Video Review on Amazon

2009-05-04T21:01:00.000-07:00

Click the title of this blog to see Jason Wright's very flattering review of The Nine Lessons. And while you're on Amazon, be sure to check out Jason's books as well...they won't disappoint!

The Blog is Dead, Long Live the Blog

2009-04-23T19:22:00.000-07:00

For me, blogging has turned out to be very much like personal journal writing: it comes in waves, and is seldom very good. But I enjoy it, so I keep coming back to it. The recent lapse in blogging has been due to a very intense writing schedule. In addition to my regular day-job, I've been putting in 40+ hours each week on writing. It's a good-news-bad-news sort of thing. The good news is that I got another contract with Hachette for 2 more books (woo hoo!). The bad news is that the schedule is killing me. (yeah, I know: quit whining, Kevin, you're doing what you love!). Fortunately, my deadline for the next manuscript is in June, so it (either the manuscript or me) will all be over soon.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next couple of weeks. The Nine Lessons hits bookstores soon, and it'll be fun to see how it does. Granted, it's the sort of fun that gives me heartburn, anxiety, and indigestion, but fun nonetheless.

Nine Lessons Review

2009-02-12T06:58:00.000-08:00

Okay, here it is...the first review I've found of The Nine Lessons: Click Here

Robin Hood

2009-02-11T15:55:00.000-08:00

I know I've been a terrible blogger lately, but I just HAD to post this today, simply because it was so cool to witness. Last night my new brother-in-law, Andrew, came over, and he brought a very cool toy with him: A 60 lb Compound Bow. I'm not exactly a marksman, but I was a Boy Scout long enough to love shooting bows, so we went out to the barn and set up a target. Believe it or not, on his very first round of arrows, Andrew shot one arrow into another arrow, and IT STUCK! We couldn't believe it. I pulled out my cell-phone camera to document the occasion. I thought splitting arrows was just the stuff of Hollywood movies, but apparently not. You can't tell from the picture, but the second arrow drove the first arrow about a foot deeper into the hay bale.

Who Song & Larry's

2009-01-03T10:10:00.000-08:00

Who Song & Larry's is perhaps the coolest restaurant name around. But even cooler than the restaurant are the amazing people I met there yesterday. I was invited to speak to the employees of KidSpace (a really great pre-school in Vancouver, WA) for their annual holiday party. What a wonderful time! Many thanks to Kathy from KidSpace for bringing me in. I hope to see those pictures soon!

Christmas Jars, Oreos, and the worst Tooth Fairy ever

2008-12-06T12:44:00.000-08:00

Anyone who likes Christmas books has probably heard of Jason Wright's novel, Christmas Jars. Well this year my family and I decided that we would fill our own Christmas Jar so that we can give the money to someone who needs a little lift. All of the kids have been very excited to do this. I'm constantly amazed at how much joy they get out of putting their money into the jar rather than their own pockets. But my youngest daughter, Emma (who just turned 5), wins the prize for the most selfless donation....

For the past month Emma has been telling us that she had a loose tooth, but to tell you the truth, I'd tugged on it a couple of times and never felt much wiggle. But since this would be her first tooth to come out, she has been anxiously waiting for its demise so that she could reap the rewards of her first Tooth Fairy experience. Two days ago we had some of her friends over for pre-school, and during snack time my wife was handing out Oreo cookies. Unfortunately, the package of Oreos in the cupboard was nearly empty, so she retrieved a new one...straight from the freezer. As you can imagine, the cookies were as hard as rocks, but the kids just grabbed them and started munching.

In a very short amount of time, little Emma was screaming, "My mouth is bleeding!" I was in the other room and came running, but Rebeecca was already there wiping a bloody Oreo mess from her face. And in the middle of the frozen cookie was Emma's tooth! Even while the blood was dripping down her mouth she began talking about how now the Tooth Fairy could come and bring her money. I took her into the bathroom and helped her clean up, and she asked me if I thought the Tooth Fairy would bring her a lot of money. I told her we'd have to wait and see. But regarless of the amount, she was clearly very happy that the stone-cold cookie had prematurely ripped a tooth from her jaw, and was thrilled that her pain would result in a cash payout.

Later that night, after the kids had gone to bed, Rebecca and I remembered that Emma had dutifully tucked her tooth beneath her pillow and was expecting it to be gone by morning, replaced by something more valuable. Unfortunately, neither of us are "cash" people, and both of our wallets were completely empty. We searched all over the house for some spare change, but found none. Of course, neither of us wanted to have to explain to our 5-year-old daughter why the Tooth Fairy had completely ignored her toothful offering, so we did what any [heartless, cheap, and otherwise lousy] parent would do...

Yes, I'm ashamed to admit it, for the first time this year we went to the kitchen counter and stole from the Christmas Jar! Isn't that awful?!? That money was intended to help someone in need, and we withdrew $2.00 to give to our kid in the name of the Tooth Fairy!!

Well the next morning Emma woke up overjoyed to find the two bucks under her pillow (hey, that's big-money to a 5-year-old). She was so proud, she went around showing everyone how much money she had and told us all about how the Tooth Fairy had come and given it to her. Once we'd all seen her money and heard her tell the story several times, we started getting breakfast ready. Emma was still in her bedroom admiring her wad of cash--we thought she was putting it in her piggy bank. But a few minutes later she came walking quietly into the kitchen, still holding her money. She paced casually up to the counter, climbed up on a stool, and tucked all of her money from the Tooth Fairy into the Christmas Jar!

Needless to say, the entire family appreciated her example of giving. None of the children knew that we'd stolen from the Christmas Jar. How fitting that the selflessness of a child would put the money right back where it belonged. Someone out there is going to end up with a very full jar of money this Christmas season, but I know that nobody will benefit from that jar more than those of us who have filled it.

If Amazon says so, I won't argue!

2008-11-25T12:39:00.000-08:00

When I hear the word "classic" being used to describe literature, my mind immediately thinks in terms of longevity and staying power; simply passing the unmerciful test of time. My brain conjurs up authors like Hemingway, Shakespeare, Steinbeck, and all of the other greats we had to read (or should have read) in school; books like Lord of the Flies, The Grapes of Wrath, and A Christmas Carol, which are enjoyed again and again with each new generation. So you can imagine how shocked I was when my Paper Bag Christmas popped up in the top 25 downloads (e-books) in the "Classic Literature" category on Amazon.com, with higher customer ratings than The Bard!

Whatever. I'm flattered, but I'm also guessing that someone accidentally fat-fingered my book's category in a lonely database somewhere. Still, it's fun to see it listed among the greats, no matter how it got there!!

[For posterity-sake, the following were a few of the other authors/books in the top 25: The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald), Jane Austen's complete works, Lord of The Flies (William Golding), The Sun Also Rises (Hemingway), A Christmas Carol (Charles Dickens), War and Peace (Leo Tolstoy), Little Women (Louisa May Alcott).]

Oh, The Vanity

2008-11-18T21:17:00.000-08:00

Fine, call me conceited. It's probably true, because today I "Googled" myself, just to see where my name would pop up. Interestingly, I found it in some unlikely places, so I thought I'd share. If anyone can confirm the languages of the websites shown above (click to enlarge), I'd love to know! I'm guessing one is Italian and another is Japanese, but I don't have a good guess on the third.

BOOK GIVEAWAY!! The Paper Bag Christmas Contest

2008-11-11T14:41:00.001-08:00

Hi Folks! I've heard from a lot of people that they want to be able to give copies of The Paper Bag Christmas to family and friends for Christmas. So in the spirit of giving, I'm happy to announce that I am personally giving away 5 signed copies each to 2 lucky winners, so you can have enough books to give as special gifts on Christmas morning. For details click here. Good Luck!!

La vida en Mexico

2008-11-04T06:53:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this is going to be a bit of a "running" post: I plan to keep adding to it while I'm down here in Mexico, just to document things that I don't want to forget. I know if I don't write it down I'll have forgotten it by the time I'm back on American soil. So here goes....

11/3/08 - 7:03 AM: Ran into Amy Roloff, from the TLC show "Little People Big World" in the line to get hot chocolate at the airport. I think she got a coffee, black. Seemed nice. Wore a fancy leather jacket.

11/3/08 - 8:45 AM: In Flight now en route to Phoenix. They want to charge me $1.00 for an in-flight water? R U Kidding Me??

11/3/08 - 11:31 AM: Sat down in the only seat I could find near an outlet for my laptop. I start talking to the guy next to me and he is the PRODUCER for the TLC show "Little People Big World"! It was a weird deja-vu moment. He thought it was funny that'd seen Amy Roloff in PDX. It just goes to show that Walt Disney was right: it's a small world after all (no pun intended for the little people).

11/3/08 - 3:15 PM: Flying on a turbo prop plane, about 20 seats total. A bit bumpy. The prop is whirring right outside my window. If it happens to break off mid-flight and come crashing into the plane, I'm in big trouble.

11/3/08 - 4:45 PM: Landed. Tried to get through customs. Uh oh...I brought 2 laptops (1 personal, 1 for work) and the limit is one! The Federalis took me into a back room and confiscated my work laptop. No, I'm not kidding. I got pictures of them taking it, just in case I don't get it back. I couldn't make this up even if I wanted to. So now I'm down here on business without my business computer. Ugh...

11/4/08 - 7:17 AM: It's election day. I just finished a 3 mile run. Now I'm watching TV. The choices are either CNN's election coverage or The Three Amigos in Spanish. Yes, I chose Los Tres Amigos. ;-)

11/4/08 - 7:45 PM: The restaurant we went to for dinner waited until we'd spent nearly $2000 Pesos to inform us that their credit card machine was "suddenly broken, senor." All of our wallets were empty, so the gentleman I was with offered to trade his brand new cowboy boots for the meal. No deal.

11/4/08 - 8:40 PM: Watched John McCain admit defeat. Watched the other guy accept the nomination. Watched news anchors gloat. Turned off my TV.

11/4/08 - 9:07 PM: Was able to chat online with my wife, and suddenly my day seemed a little brighter. My brief, typed interludes with her are the highlight of this trip. I hate being away from her and the kids! LOVE YOU, BEC!!

11/5/08 - 6:16 AM: Ate cow tongue for breakfast.

11/5/08 - 5:58 PM: I'm sitting at the Hotel's restaurant, connected to their free WiFi. This is my first meal alone and I'm bored to death. I'm so bored, in fact, that I started listening to the restaurant's background music. They've got an XM radio station playing cheesy American music from the 80's. Last song played? Footloose. Before that? Wind Beneath My Wings. Before that? You Don't Buy Me Flowers (Anymore). Now Playing: Time In A Bottle. The wait-staff is singing along and loving it. Wow. Am I in a time warp? Who invented XM Radio anyway? Did they have to export the technology to Mexico?

11/5/08 - 6:42 PM: "Flan". Need I say more? The texture and caramel silkiness is so exhilarating that I can almost block out the sound of Rod Stewart singing in the background.

11/5/08 - 7:01 PM: I'm on my 3rd Diet Coke ("on the rocks") and the 1st verse of I will Be Right Here Waiting For You.

11/6/08 - 6:39 AM: Another brush with reality TV "fame" this morning. The captain and 2 crew of the boat called Time Bandit on the Discovery Channel's "Deadliest Catch" are staying at the same hotel as me. There aren't many of us here this week, so I'd seen them around before, but this morning someone told me who they are. They are like heroes in this little fishing town!

11/6/08 - 6:57 AM: Boarded a beautiful boat and went out for a "cruise" in the Sea of Cortez. My wife didn't want me to go fishing, so if she asks, that's not what I was doing. I was just enjoying the wildlife and the beauty of the endless saltwater. I saw dolphins, a marlin playing in the surf, a hammerhead shark, and lots of pelicans. Sure, we were dragging fishing lures behind the boat the whole time, but since we didn't catch anything, I don't think that qualifies as "fishing". We baited lines, we trolled, we studied the poles for any sign of a bite, but we did not reel anything in. We did lots of things related to fishing...but we did NOT fish. :-)

11/6/08 - 1:15 PM: I'm back at the cafe enjoying lunch. Well, mostly enjoying. It would be better if they'd turn that dang XM Radio off. "You have no right, to ask me how I feel...you have no right, to speak to me so..." SING ALONG! "...But for now we'll go on living, separate lives..."

11/6/08 - 5:49 PM: Landed on American soil in Phoenix. God Bless America...there is no cheesy music in the background. Next stop: HOME!!

Still Going...now at 149!!

2008-10-29T12:43:00.000-07:00

When does the bubble burst?

Moving UP

2008-10-29T10:35:00.000-07:00

So an hour ago the book ranked at 283....now it's climbed to 217. The auctioneer in my head is rattling off numbers like crazy..., "Do I hear 205? Who'll give me 205? 200, 200, I need 200. 200! Let's go to 185. 185. Do I hear 185?...."

Let's keep it moving!!

283 Isn't Bad!

2008-10-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

Wow! My book officially "hit the market" today. I wasn't expecting much, but was pleasantly surprised to see it debuted as the #283 selling book at Barnes & Nobel (see fine print above). Sound like a big number? Well, okay, it's not small. But of all of the books that are out there, 283 is not bad! Tell your friends about it, and maybe we can crack the top 100. :-)

A-Maize-ing Politicians

2008-10-24T21:42:00.000-07:00

Today I took my family to a pumpkin farm just a couple miles from our house. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, and, most importantly, there were lots of pumpkins. Little did I know when we arrived at the farm that we would also be given a crash-course in Presidential Politics. The lesson was kind of corny, but all in good fun…

Of utmost importance for my children was finding a perfect pumpkin, which required a short hay-ride to the pumpkin patch (which wasn’t really a patch at all, at least not in the traditional sense of the word. It was just a large open field. No pumpkins were ever grown there. Instead, migrant workers brought thousands of large orange pumpkins into this place on trucks, but that’s beside the point). It wasn’t until we had all found [and paid for…ouch!$!] our pumpkins that our political education began. We had some spare time and decided to have a family adventure in the farm’s big corn maze, which ended up being the weirdest, coolest, and most political pre-Halloween thing I’ve ever done…

Believe it or not, the picture shown above is an aerial photo of the corn maze. Yes, believe it! Some nutty farmer turned his acreage into a giant rock-the-vote campaign. It was so bizarre. Here are a few observations from my experience in the presidential corn:

1. The corn on the northwest edge of the field was noticeably older, like it had been planted much earlier in the season. That was helpful. Simply by it’s age I knew it must have been the McCain section of the maze, and I was better able to orient myself.

2. The farmer who mowed this thing obviously doesn't know much about the political spectrum: he put Senator Obama on the right and Senator McCain on the left. What it should have been was McCain on the left and Obama on the FAR-left.

3. Although the stalks of corn that made up McCain were starting to wither, they did look tough, as though they’d weathered a lot of difficult storms.

4. Obama’s corn looked nice and new and shiny, but the stalks were kind of weak.

5. The largest vacancy in the presidential corn maze: Obama’s head (hey, that's not a slam on Obama, just the cornfield caricature of him ;-)

For what it’s worth, we had a really fun time. Both candidates stood tall as we ran all over them.

Weekend of Icons

2008-10-12T15:15:00.000-07:00

This weekend in Maryland was a ton of fun. We got to see so many cool things and meet wonderful people. But a few brushes with fame must be shared...

First, bronze art: Rodin's famous statue, "The Thinker", has always been one of my favorites. It just makes you think...like...what's he thinking about? The death of a loved one? How to capture the heart of his true love? The demise of the aristocracy? Breakfast? Who knows! But it's fun to think about. It is truly a stunning work of art. So my jaw about dropped when we walked into the Baltimore Museum of art to find it there on display. We didn't know we weren't supposed to take pictures, so Rebecca snapped a shot of me "thinking" (thinking about whether or not we were allowed to take pictures). Then a guard rushed over and scolded us.

Our second encounter was with a more modern icon. Although he hasn't been around as long as The Thinker, Elmo is, arguably, just as cool (and much more cuddly). At the fundraiser this weekend for the Children's Cancer Foundation, Elmo and Zoe (the REAL people behind the puppets) were there, and we got to meet them and get our picture taken. It was really exciting. Kevin Clash (Elmo) has had an amazing career, and is deserving of everything that has come his way.

Fine Feathered Friend

2008-10-10T06:04:00.000-07:00

Warning: What you are about to read is sad. Very sad. If you have a soft-spot in your heart for God's most reliable egg-manufacturers, you should probably stop reading. As in now. Stop already! Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you...

Two nights ago, as we were packing up for our trip to Baltimore (which is where I'm at right now), I noticed that one of our chickens was missing. We have about 20 chickens, 3 of which are roosters that sort of roam free near the barn and watch the lady-chicks from the other side of the fence. Two of the roosters are a very small breed, called Bantams, while the third is probably twice as big. The missing rooster was a Bantam. So I went looking, and it didn't take long before I found the little guy curled up in the grass, barely conscious, his eyes literally rolling back in his head. He had been attacked...by his "friend", the BIG rooster. All of the feathers on his back had been pecked off, leaving just a fleshy mound of blood and raw meat.

I wanted to throw up.

The poor little guy was in such pain that he couldn't even move, and I knew instantly that we had to do the humane thing by ending its life. I made the mistake of telling my daughters what I'd found, and they all rushed to see, and then it was just hysteria, tears, and more hysteria. My oldest daughter, Mikayla, called her mother on the cell and started crying. "Mom...[sniffle, sniffle,]...the chicken..[sniffle,sniffle]...is hurt. Do you...[sniffle, sniffle]...know where the hatchet is? We have to end its suffering." That worried Rebecca, because she didn't know I was home yet, and she thought perhaps Mikayla was going to 'take care of business' all by herself.

Once I'd found the hatchet, I sent all of the kids inside except for Mikayla, who I needed to help stretch out the neck. She didn't want to see what was about to happen, so she covered her tear-stained eyes with her free hand. Just before I swung, she yelled, "Wait!" Then she took another moment to wrap her free arm all the way around her head, covering not only her eyes, but her ears as well so she wouldn't have to hear the sound of the chop. I raised the hatchet just as Mikayla whispered to the chicken, "I love you."

I could hardly bring myself to do it, but I know it was the right thing. The chicken's sorry little eyes were almost begging for the pain to end. Ultimately, the final blow was swift and sure. No more pain.

As difficult as it was to end one chicken's life, I know that I will have no trouble ending another one as soon as we're back from Baltimore....the "perp" in this brutal chicken attack (the Big rooster) is going to be chicken-stew just as soon as I get the chance.

Chop. Chop.

The Pits

2008-10-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

This morning I "slept in" (which, with 5 kids, means I woke up at 7 AM). My daughter Mary came in and jumped in bed next to me. She looked at me for a few seconds and then said, "Daddy, why don't you shave....[pause]...your armpits?" Hmmm. Let me see. My wife shaves her armpits. My oldest daughters, Mikayla and Kamry, shave theirs. Why don't I?? It's a reasonable 7-year-old question.

But I didn't have a good answer for her. So I've decided that when I die, as I'm standing in line at the pearly gates, the first thing I'm going to ask the people in charge will be the great mystery of the universe: Why do we have armpit hair???? Someday, I'm gonna figure it out.

Anti-Dentite

2008-09-16T14:19:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday was a really good day for me in many respects: all of my children won their soccer games, all of my favorite NCAA football teams won their games as well, and the weather in Oregon was blue-skies and sunshine with temperatures in the low 90's. Sounds like a perfect September day, right? Wrong....

Late in the evening I was relaxing in my favorite recliner, reflecting on the many wonders of the day while innocently eating a bowl of ice-cream, when all of a sudden I bit down on something hard. I was momentarily confused. Why, I asked myself, is there something hard in my mouth? This is not chunky ice-cream...there shouldn't be any nuts or candy bits...it's just plain vanilla. Then it donned on me: My Ice-Cream Has A Foreign Object In It! I ran as fast as I could to the sink to spit out whatever disgusting chunk had infiltrated my dessert.

My wife and kids, who were also eating ice-cream, watched intently as I cleaned the melted cream from off the small, jagged object that came flying out of my mouth. That's when I nearly vomited. "A human tooth!" I shouted in disgust. "Ben and Jerry's let a human tooth get into their ice-cream! Into MY ice-cream!!"

Everyone put their bowls down and groaned, then scrambled over to study the tooth in the sink. For several minutes we bemoaned the fact that I had just been chewing on someone else's tooth. We were all horrified. As a proud, former Vermonter (where Ben & Jerry's is made), my mind was already racing with ideas about how I would break the news to Ben and/or Jerry...and how much free ice-cream they would be supplying the Milne family as compensation for my horrific ordeal.

But alas...it wasn't meant to be. Once the initial shock wore off, my wife asked me if I was sure it wasn't my own tooth. My tooth?? I would know if I broke my own tooth, right...My tongue started probing around inside my mouth. There would be pain, there would be blood, there would be a hole where my tooth used to...."Oh crud," I groaned, louder than before as my tongue found the new space in my mouth. "This is going to cost me a fortune at the dentist!" It was my own, dumb tooth...well sort of. To be more exact, it was a crown I'd gotten about a year ago. It turns out they used a defective porcelain material, and it just fell apart in the cold of the ice-cream.

It ruined the rest of my perfect weekend. And today, as I sat in the dentist's chair gagging on Novocain, yet another day was ruined. Even as I type, there is a drip of saliva running helplessly down the numb side of my mouth. Those who know me best know that my own father is an oral surgeon, so I grew up around dental practitioners. I certainly love my father, and hold no ill-will against dentists as individuals, but as I consider the high-pitched whine of the dental drill, the neck-ache from titling my head "just so", the choking on quick-curing mold compounds, the shots, the poking, the chiseling, the spitting, and of course, the insane cost of a simple crown, I can't deny that I am, and always will be, an anti-dentite. Sorry, dad. :-)

New Title Change (again)

2008-08-23T08:32:00.000-07:00

My editor called this week while we were driving down Highway 101 along the Oregon coast during our family camping trip. It seems the publisher is insistent that we avoid a golf-related title for my next book, so as not to drive away the main audience, who are probably not golfers. As a result, what started out as "Waiting For Mulligans", and then later switched to "Playing Through", is now going to be called "The Nine Lessons". It's probably not as catchy or intriguing as the original, but it should have more mass-market appeal, and that's not such a bad thing.

At any rate, I think this will be the final title change, because they are ready to start marketing it to booksellers. Plus, the cover is now complete, and since the cover needs a title I'm pretty sure we're done fiddling with it. [note: I'll post the new cover to my web page shortly..it's BEAUTIFUL! Many thanks to the design team!!]

Me and My Buddy Michael Moore? Ha!!

2008-08-14T16:15:00.000-07:00

I don't want to get political on this blog, so I won't. But I think most people would agree that it's hard to avoid politics when mentioning the name Michael Moore. If the name doesn't ring a bell, perhaps you'll recognize some of his infamous movies: Fahrenheit 9/11, Sicko, and Bowling for Columbine, three of the top five highest-grossing documentaries of all time. So anyway, I was perusing a magazine today that highlights some books that will be sold in foreign markets during the next 6 months, and my name was listed on the table of contents! Cool, right? I had no idea it was being marketed overseas, so I was ecstatic. But I had to laugh when I read the name right below mine on the list....yep, Michael Moore. I'd never really thought of it before, but Mr. Moore and I share a capital-M in common at the start of our last names! The similarities between us probably end there, but hey, it's something. I never imagined I would ever see my name in print next to Mr. Moore's, but for better or worse, I think it's hilarious.

By the way, it's worth noting that Stephenie Meyer is on the top of the M-list. She's everywhere these days. In fact, I just heard that she topped 7 gazillion books sold (and no matter how you measure it, that's a lot). Way to go Stephenie! My wife loves your books...and I intend to read them too (someday).

Celebrity Morphing My Son

2008-07-31T22:01:00.001-07:00

I admit it...I'm bored. In my boredom today I found a funny tool that morphs your photo into that of a celebrity. I chose my 11 month old son, Kyler, as the Guinea Pig (I would have done my wife, but she'd shoot me). The program matched Kyler up most closely with Will Smith. Hey, that's not bad right? A kid could do worse than to grow up and save the planet several times over from alien invasion!

Critic's Review

2008-07-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

I just received a note from my publisher about the progress that The Paper Bag Christmas is making in the marketplace. The feedback so far has been very positive (yeah!). My real hope with this book is that it will touch as many lives as possible. One reviewer sent a very kind note to the publisher this week, which I thought I'd post for those who are interested. With any luck, some of you will share these same sentiments....

The email said...."Thank you for sending a review copy of The Paper Bag Christmas. So many books are sent to our office for review that I hardly want to THANK someone for adding to my reading stack, but I am, indeed, grateful for receiving this book. It has been years since I've read a book that touched me to tears. Thank you again."

Here is a short blurb from the official review...."Kevin Milne's book, "The Paper Bag Christmas", reads like a Christmas classic -- warm, funny, sweet, inspiring, humbling, and nostalgic. The celebration of Christmas as the birth of Jesus is artfully woven into the story, pulled through like a golden thread among the heart-melting yarn. When will it be made into a movie? I can't wait to treat my family to a round of popcorn stringing while we watch it on Christmas Eve."

Re-creating the past

2008-07-30T10:02:00.000-07:00

For convenience, today I am formally moving my Blogs to Blogger.com. I have been trying to maintain these entries on my primary website by FTP'ing html code. Uggh. It is painful to do and extremely clunky, so this seems like a much easier way to post. But, for the sake of posterity, I don't want to lose key tidbits of history that I've already posted over the past year, so I'm copying earlier blogs into this one entry. Here goes nothing.....

July 25, 2008 - If you listen very hard, you can probably still hear me exhaling...the new book has been accepted! Better yet, my editor loves it (she cried)!! There's only one thing....their market research over the past couple of months suggests that non-golfers don't "get" the title. It seems their first impression is that the book is about an Irish family named Mulligans, which it isn't. Therefore, we have agreed to change the title to something a little more generic, since this book is definitely not just for golfers. The new title will be....drum roll please..... Playing Through.

July 23, 2008 - The month of July has been quiet on the book front, as I'm awaiting a final decision on Waiting For Mulligans. So instead of stressing about writing, we've been stressing about my youngest sister, Kacie, getting married. The wedding is tomorrow! Tonight we had a pre-wedding Luau at our house, complete with authentic Samoan dancers and tiki torches all around the property. There were around one hundred people in attendance, and we had enough food for at least twice than number. Anyway, it was a great time...and we're glad it's over!

April 4, 2008 - Tonight I sent the finished manuscript of my next book, Waiting for Mulligans, to my editor for review. It was SOOOO hard to let it go! I told her that I felt like I was sending off a portion of myself for public scrutiny. To date the only person who has read it is my wife, Rebecca (she liked it, by the way, but I know she is biased), so I have HUGE anxiety that maybe the publisher will hate it and my writing career will come to a grinding halt. Ouch. I was so scared to send it that I finally had to have my two oldest daughters push "send" on the email. Thanks girls, I couldn't have done it without you!

February 20, 2008 - My head is still spinning from the whirlwind trip to NYC. But to help clear the fog, my editor just sent me a copy of the new cover design for The Paper Bag Christmas. The big shocker...it has an endorsement at the top! Jason F. Wright, the NYT Bestselling Author of Christmas Jars and The Wednesday Letters, has provided a very flattering endorsement. I can't seem to wipe the smile off my face. [Note to Jason: THANKS!]

February 14, 2008 - Happy Valentines Day! I'm completely exhausted...I didn't sleep at all last night, and somehow even now I feel like I'm living in a dream. The sales meeting was last night, and it was so surreal. I kept shaking my head in disbelief, wondering how on earth I ended up there. The headliners of the evening were Brad Meltzer , who has been on the NYT Bestseller list more times than I can count, and comedian Paul Feig, creator of the hit show Freaks & Geeks and a former actor on the TV show Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Are you kidding me? The cool thing was, they were both completely nice, gracious, down-to-earth guys. Brad came and sat by me before the speeches got underway. We chatted about Portland, Powell Books, and who knows what else--it's all just a blur now.

I was the first speaker of the night, and I think I did okay...but Paul was up right after me, so anything I said was soon forgotten. He spoke faster than I can think, and every other sentence was a joke. He was seriously funny! What a great experience to listen and learn from him. Brad wrapped things up and also had the whole crowd in stitches. He's clearly done this before, so I was taking copious notes.

January 31, 2008 - I'm heading to the BIG APPLE! My [fabulous] editor called me this past week and said that I'd been selected as one of 4 authors to attend Hachette Book Group's annual sales meeting in NYC in a couple of weeks. Apparently this is a really big deal. I will be speaking to a group of sales executives in Manhattan. From everything I've gathered, it's not terribly common for new authors to be invited, so I'm extremely grateful for the opportunity. I'm told that last year (or the year before?) one of the guests was John Ratzenberger, who played the role of "Cliff" on the TV sitcom Cheers. How cool is that?

January 1, 2008 - This is my first-ever Blog entry, and already I know that I'm a terrible blogger. Writing shouldn't be this hard! It just feels so much like keeping a journal, which I'm terrible at (as evidence, I got a brand-spanking-new journal when I got married 13 years ago, and I've filled maybe 20 pages, if that). Needless to say, I don't expect this blogging thing to be a part of my daily routine. I'll try to post things of interest, but beyond that I'm afraid I just don't have it in me.

For those who knew about The Paper Bag Christmas from its original publication with Granite Publishing, you may be interested to learn that Hachette Book Group, the company that bought Time Warner Books in 2006, picked up my book this past spring and gave me a contract for another book as well. I was thrilled! I loved Granite, but Hachette really has the national distribution network that can help make it a real success. They are already working hard on a new cover design, re-editing, and are developing an elaborate sales campaign--and it doesn't even go to market until the end of October 2008. I'm hoping (and praying...literally) that things will go well with the book this fall.